Emotional abuse usually involves a consistent pattern of offensive words, refusing to show affection, threats, bullying, and constant criticism. The abuser may also use other actions such as intimidation, or shaming his/her partner, or purposely doing something to embarrass him/her in public. Emotional blackmail and manipulation are other signs that one partner is abusing another. The abuser does this in order to control and dominate mainly because he/she is empty and fearful but too unwilling to show it.
Most often than not, emotional abusers have themselves been hurt and have emotional insecurities. They may have grown in a family environment where they were constantly criticized or someone whose trust they valued constantly showed a lack of trust and never appreciated their efforts. They might have passed through the hands of people who never showed them healthy ways of interacting. If you know you have been deeply hurt or disappointed by your parents or either of them or someone who you looked up to, you need to be self-aware because you might end up hurting other people whose love you need without you knowing it.
If you are deep into an emotionally abusive relationship, chances are that you may not know it because you might have adjusted to thinking of it as normal which is dangerous for your overall health. This is usually what feeds the abuse. The victim never knows that he/she should never accept that as a norm and should find an exit option.
It is important to note that emotional abuse has to show a consistent or repeated pattern and not one-off events. You should not accept emotional abuse. You are precious.
To know whether you are in an abusive relationship, evaluate whether your partner shows support in your dreams and hopes or discourages you. Does he/she show admiration or does he/she criticize you but expect you to admire him/her and think that his/her ideas are the best but not yours? Does he/she want always to be at the center of attention when you reveal what you have done but he/she changes the conversation to what he/she has done or what he/she could have done in your place? Is he/she jealous and afraid to see you shine?
Does he/she notice when you need to be listened to when you are going through pain and fatigue? Does he/she care when you are feeling stressed or anxious or depressed or hopeless? Does he/she make time to comfort you or does he/she expect you to suck it up and stop complaining? Do you feel that your life is heading somewhere or is your life total chaos? You no longer know what you want and you feel too weak to care? Finally, does your partner blame you for anything that is wrong in your relationship? Is it always your mistake? When is the last time he/she said sorry? How often does he/she demand that you apologize?
Think of this and know that you do not deserve it. Not one moment. Walk out. Being single is not a disease or a sin.
