Death
Religion & Spirituality

Of God and Death.

Death hangs in the air in many countries due to Covid-19 and its economic consequences. In many burials, you won’t fail to hear statements like: “It is God’s Will. Let us accept this as God’s Will. God picks the best flowers. He is the one who gives and takes.” These, plus many other similar phrases and words, are used often with good intention, to console the bereaved. However, they end up leaving one with the impression that God intended the death of the deceased. I find this

Motivation

TULA NYONGORO – THE BIRTH OF DIRTH

“Uuwiii! Mayoo! Bii unee! Come and see! Wololo mayoo! Awuor nyathiwa! Mamayoo!” Awiti K’Opondo, the unofficial village crier screams. Chief Ochieng’ is woken by his wife Domitila Akoth. She sits shaking and pressing her head to the wall. Ochieng’ looks at her hazily as he takes a moment to get his bearings right. He hears what sounds like Awiti’s voice and more neighbours yelling. Hastily throwing on his clothes, he rushes outside, flinging his gate open just in time to hear his son’s name escape

Motivation

THE TIMELINESS OF THE SERENITY PRAYER

Serenity. Calmness. Peace. Tranquility. Balance. Quiet. Lord, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. This prayer, recited by millions of people all around the world for at least 70 years since it was composed by protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, is a source of strength and balance to those who understand its power. Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change. What

Motivation

SPEAKING UP IS DIFFICULT. I GET IT.

Just talk to someone! Speak up… Ask for help… Whereas this is very good advice for someone going through a difficult time, asking for help is never easy. At least not equally for everyone. There are those who find it easy to speak to anyone who might be willing to listen and they feel understood. This might happen even if the person they were speaking to was uncomfortable and not attentive almost the whole time. There are others who are lucky and blessed to have good listeners around them, be it

Motivation

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: BUILDING LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

Have you ever been impressed by an individual who is so good at creating rapport and making people understood even after short conversations? Have you been impressed by their genuine interest in people and the manner in which they make people vulnerable in such a manner that they make them tell personal stories? It is very possible that such an individual possesses high levels of Emotional Intelligence (EI). Granted that is also closely found among certain personality types more than others, it

Religion & Spirituality

THE ROLE OF THE YOUTH IN THE CHURCH

The youth are a very important and vital component of the Catholic Church. Without them, the Church has no future. The future of the Church is not in buildings and structures but in her capacity to attract and maintain young people within her ranks. A self-reliant Church is not defined by her income in money and material goods but by her capacity to pass on a mature and informed faith and especially so to the youth. And these are young people who are faithful and who love the Church and who love

Psychology

Psychology and Possible Areas of Specialization/Careers.

Many people interested in psychology tend to wonder what possible pathways does the discipline offer in terms of careers. Well, a lot! Psychology is understood as the study of mental processes (brain processes, thinking, affective states) and behaviour. A degree in psychology already gives one a scientific mindset and equips one to understand basic principles of human thinking and behaviour. With such a set of competencies, such a person can do well in teaching, sales, marketing health servi

Psychology

Teens: How to Respond to “Difficult” Parents.

“My parents don’t care about me.” “How do I deal with narcissistic parents?” “My dad doesn’t even spend time with me.” “The only thing I hear from my parents is criticism and pressure.” “How does one deal with stress coming from his/her parents who keep letting out their anger and stress on you?” “My parents are toxic; it is killing me! Help!” “My parents are so difficult such that I have considered suicide.” These are some of the comments that have been sent to me from the presenter of a local TV stat

Psychology

PORN-NDEMIC: 10 + 4 WAYS TO OVERCOME PORN.

Be self-compassionate. Self-compassion does not mean condoning the behaviour. It means accepting that you sin but that does not mean you are a horrible person. If you end up hating yourself telling yourself how horrible you are because you watch porn, you are not going to overcome the problem. Treat yourself as if you are unwell and you need to get better. If you plan not to watch porn for 5 days and end up failing in 3, focus on the two that you did well instead of the three that you failed. Acce

Psychology

Effects of Porn on Teenagers.

Addiction. The younger a person, especially men, start watching porn, the higher their current use of porn. Moreover, once they grow up, they tend to enjoy sex less if they ever make it to a committed relationship and they like to do pornographic acts in their sexual life hoping to feel great but that remains like a ‘thirst’ that is always there but never quenchable. Normally, due to developmental effects, teens have a higher chance of getting addicted to almost any substance or behaviour they ma

Psychology

PORN-NDEMIC: IMPACT OF PORN ON WOMEN

In the previous article on pornography, we explore what porn is and how it affects men. In this second part, we explore how it affects women. In the next article, we shall see how pornography affects teenagers. Reduced sexual and relationship satisfaction: Even though Porn raises one’s sexual desires, it leaves one not satisfied in the sexual activities that they engage in and even if they are married or in a sexual relationship, they will still prefer to masturbate after sex in order for them to

Philosophy & Culture

Psychological Implications of the ill-advised plan for Education Resumption in Kenya

I am not a fan of George Magoha, the Cabinet Secretary for Education in Kenya. I admit that I was happy when he was appointed to his post but his management style and general leadership is so deeply flawed that any pros he may have, have been outpaced by his cons. He seems to run the education sector like a personal business, with little regard for teamwork, essential (soft) skills and even basic character strengths such as respect. His humiliating a senior county educational official who has ser

Philosophy & Culture

POPE FRANCIS AND CIVIL UNIONS

Recently, a lot of headlines around the world have carried the title, “Pope Francis endorses same-sex unions.”The Vatican was quite for a while before the Secretariat of State clarified what Pope Francis meant. Nonetheless, Pope Francis is on record as being supportive of Civil Unions.From this, depending on where you stand, many people are either Delighted or Disgusted. Please note those two words.The ground upon which Pope Francis used to say what he did proceeds from classical Christian teach

Psychology

The Porn-ndemic – The Dangers of Porn to Men

The term pornography comes from two Greek words, porneia (whores) and graphos (work/writing). It is understood as the work of prostitutes or writing about prostitutes or prostitution. The etymology of the term notwithstanding, pornography, which is a huge part of the sex industry, is today pervasive and increasingly accepted in our culture today. That is not to mean that it is not without effects. Its ubiquity and normalization have allowed it to move freely in the open while causing severe prob

Psychology

THREE KEY BUILD BLOCKS OF RESILIENCE

Life is marked by a lot of suffering, most of which is undeserved. That statement is not a pessimistic one but a realistic observation of what life is. In a world where there exists in some quarters a tyranny of the positive, which is a situation where people are made to feel guilty for having negative feelings or even expressing them, it is important to acknowledge the reality of suffering. In fact, true positivity does not entail a rejection of the negative. Positivity is the actual integration

Psychology

SELF-COMPASSION AND HELPFUL PRACTICES

Self-compassion is one of the most preeminent acts of showing love to oneself. It is also quite difficult to do because most people have grown around people who criticized them more than they complimented them. This has resulted to a significant number of people having an inner voice that is self-critical than self-compassionate. This inner critic is strengthened if one’s personality is neurotic and by the fact that our mind remembers more negative experiences than the positive. If this nature is

Psychology

DO YOUNG CHILDREN HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES?

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought a lot of attention to mental health related issues. A lot of necessary discussion has been taking place on a variety of media platforms with mental issues ranging from anxiety to depression to paranoia. Most of these discussions however, have been directed to adults. There is an underlying assumption that young children do not experience depression and stress and this could not be farther from the truth. Even the discussion around opening the schools often cente

Psychology

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SAVING AND SPENDING: A BRIEF OVERVIEW.

Money plays an important place in human interaction today as a source of motivation and reward but also as a means of transaction. However, its centrality should not be confused, as it has, with primacy. Money is and should be a slave at worst and a servant at best. The moment it becomes a god at the worst or a master at best, then abuse and greed rule. Indeed, we live in times where the Golden Calf has a new name, money or possessions. Money should make life easier not for just a few but for th

Philosophy & Culture

Social Commentary: On Covid-19 and the Problem of Freedom

A while ago, a video went viral regarding an employee of a popular supermarket in the US demanding that a customer wears a mask as per the policy of the store. The employee makes it clear that unless the customer wears one, he is not welcome. The employee responds that he would not adhere to the policy because, “he woke up in a free country.” The employee literally snatches the trolley from the customer and wishes a good day to the customer who carries on complaining. By now, most of us do know t

Philosophy & Culture

Social Commentary: On Lifting Corona Virus Lock-down Measure (July 6, 2020)

The president has lifted the cessation of movement and different people have different feelings about it for a variety of reasons. Since March, four counties have been under lock-down due to the high concentration of Covid-19 cases within them. It was thus well reasoned that keeping the virus within those counties would have been the best was to contain and deal with it. However, the cases have continued to spike and the economy has crumbled. President Uhuru Kenyatta had to make the call whether

Psychology

FORGIVENESS PART IV: HOW ANGER AFFECTS YOUR GENERAL HEALTH.

From what you have learnt so far, write in your journal as many reasons as you can why you think you should forgive. As you write, consider your feelings, thoughts and behaviours and the importance you place on relationships and why. What makes it good to forgive? Stop reading and write in your journal. At times we may hold onto anger because we think we are showing self-respect but the opposite is the case; you are not respecting yourself by making your body, emotions, thoughts and actions be th

Psychology

DEVELOPING RESILIENCE: RESOURCES FOR FACING ADVERSITY.

Resilience is the capacity to face significant adversity with positive adaptation. Whereas endurance may be understood as persevering through a painful or difficult time, how creatively and courageously you adapt is what sets resilience apart. There are many mental health issues that people are facing and experiencing due to the global changes wrought by Covid-19, but also due to the suffering of simply living. The most common mental health issues are: Anxiety. Depression. Chronic Stress. Loneliness.

Psychology

FORGIVENESS PART III: HOW CAN ONE KNOW THAT HE/SHE HAS FULLY FORGIVEN?

The final goal of forgiveness is to move you from -1 to 0: Reduce  negative   thoughts  ( believing that the offender had evil motives, is an evil person, insensitive, uncaring ),  negative   feelings  ( annoyance, frustration, hatred, rage ) and  negative   behaviour  ( Avoiding, refusing to talk, plotting revenge or badmouthing the offender ) towards the offender And take you from 0 to +1: To have  positive thoughts  ( simply wishing the person well, understand

Psychology

FORGIVENESS PART II: WHAT FORGIVENESS IS AND IS NOT.

Let us now explore what forgiveness is and what it is not. Let me try to convince you a bit more why you need for forgive. You might find it offensive for someone to ask you to forgive or you might find it too hard to forgive. Probably because you do not understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness does not mean pretending nothing happened. It does not mean putting yourself again in the same situation or relationship that you got hurt in in the first place. It does not mean letting the person who

Motivation

THE ZORRO CIRCLE

What would you choose? “If you could have any role in a movie, which one would you choose?” I asked my sister as I clicked pause on whatever series we were watching and went to the kitchen to grab a packet of crisps and refill my wine glass. “What role would I choose?” my sister grinned and pondered this for a moment. I grabbed as many crisps from the bowl as my hand could manage. This was taking long. She was clearly taking this a bit too seriously. “Perhaps the role that required minimum effort,

Psychology

14 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH IN TIMES OF COVID-19.

A professor friend of mine is of the opinion that Social Distancing should not have been used to indicate people staying at a distance from each other in order to avoid the spread of the Corona Virus. He says that the proper work should have been Physical Distancing. I agree with him. Self-quarantine does not mean that you are not in contact with people socially in other ways. In fact, understanding that staying at home does not mean cutting yourself away from people is very important. Here I will

Psychology

EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

Emotional abuse usually involves a consistent pattern of offensive words, refusing to show affection, threats, bullying, and constant criticism. The abuser may also use other actions such as intimidation, or shaming his/her partner, or purposely doing something to embarrass him/her in public. Emotional blackmail and manipulation are other signs that one partner is abusing another. The abuser does this in order to control and dominate mainly because he/she is empty and fearful but too unwilling t

Religion & Spirituality

A SLAVE OF FEAR

She wanted to be single forever. How could she choose otherwise? She had seen her mother suffer a terrible marriage. She had hated every moment when her father would come home drunk and cause so much trouble and take away her piece. She had tried so hard to study only for him to call her and rant and abuse and shout. Any time her drunk dad spoke to her, it was to remind her how stupid she was, just like her mother. She almost started to believe that maybe she’s actually intellectually challenged

Psychology

HOW MEDIA AFFECTS YOUNG CHILDREN.

Have you ever heard of Generation M? Well, technically, there isn’t one but it is occasionally used to indicate children of our times due to the amount of media they consume. Many homes today in Kenya have some media gadgets of some form; be it a television, a phone, a computer or a radio. A report by SimeLab titled,  Social Media Consumption in Kenya: Trends and Practices  showed that more than 66% of Kenyans have participated in an online debate using social media platforms. This means

Religion & Spirituality

THE DIVINE IS IN YOU FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Genesis 1:27 proclaims that we are created in the image and likeness of God. I do not think, as far as I currently know, that there is any other religion or tradition, other than the Judeo-Christian Tradition, that has a similar doctrine. This doctrine, in a large part, gave rise to the important principles that each person has inherent dignity and rights that cannot be taken away, either by himself/herself or the state. It is a proclamation of the dignity of each person. Your Greatness dear rea

Philosophy & Culture

CHASTITY: LOVING FOR REAL

How many times have you heard the phrase, “for real” as a question or as an affirmation? People often use it to emphasize how honest they are about something they said that happened or a promise they intend to keep or simply to show that they are being honest. When you keep a promise or when you act in an honest and truthful way, it says so much about you; the quality of you as an individual. However important, it is not about how others perceive you or the impact of your actions that are more si

Psychology

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS/GUARDIAN AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AS AN ADULT.

Children bond with caregivers/parents who are comfortable (warm and soft when they hold them) and who are familiar to them (by wasting time with them and genuinely taking interest in them). However, not all parents bond with their children accordingly, and for many reasons; many parents are busy in an economy that requires them to work so hard that they do not have time to play with their children or hold them. They often come home tired. Attachment to a child is very important though because it h

Psychology

PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN: A BASIC OVERVIEW

In the 1950s, two Psychologists, Harry and Margaret Harlow used to keep monkeys for their studies and they would separate infant monkeys from their mothers shortly after birth. Then they made a surprise discovery; in the cages that they were keeping the monkeys, there were soft blankets and every time the blankets were taken away to be washed, the infant monkeys would be distressed. This was an important discovery because it contradicted the previous idea that infants are attached to those that n

Psychology

UNDERSTANDING TEENAGERS

This article is specially written for parents and educators… Young people have always come across as difficult to the generation that precedes them. However, it is closer to the truth to say that times have changed than to say that people have changed, at least for the last several thousand years. Consider some of the words the famous philosopher Socrates used, while he was describing the youth of his time; “Our youth now loves luxury… They have bad manners…, disrespect for older people. Children

Psychology

EFFECTS OF PARENTAL PRESSURE ON CHILDREN

Many surveys show that a significant number of African and Asian parents tend to apply a lot of pressure on their children at different times of the child’s life. The pressure usually is directed towards the performance of children in academics, developing skills for their talents and a rule-based discipline. Often, academic performance is the reason for most pressure.As with any pressure, there comes the need for a release. Any build up pressure needs a way out. This pressure, if too

Psychology

FORGIVENESS PART I: PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF FORGIVING.

Choosing to forgive is realizing that you have been a prisoner in a prison where you have the prison key and you are also the prison warden. You may be having a thousand reasons why you should not or cannot forgive the person who hurt you. However, you have to understand that refusing to forgive brings about depression, daydreaming, anger, hopelessness, and feeling drained of energy. It can lead you to be mean and impatient with others and their weaknesses. Forgiveness is hard work

Death
Religion & Spirituality

DOES GOD WILL DEATH FOR US?

Death hangs in the air in many countries due to Covid-19 and its economic consequences. In many burials, you won’t fail to hear statements like: “It is God’s Will. Let us accept this as God’s Will. God picks the best flowers. He is the one who gives and takes.” These, plus many other similar phrases and words, are used often with good intention, to console the bereaved. However, they end up leaving one with the impression that God intended the death of the deceased. I find this

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